“I get by with a little help from my friends.” The Beatles nailed it with this song (if you didn’t know, I am OBSESSED with the Beatles)!
I have always had a lot of different friends ever since I was a kid. I am pretty social, pretty outgoing, & pretty friendly. I have always been a good friend to my friends. I never took anyone’s man, never bashed anyone, was always loyal to any friend I had. I never partook in bullying anyone, & was lucky to have never been bullied myself. I was lucky enough to grow up during the AOL/AIM era & not during the massive social media era we live in now.
Many people say its harder to make friends as an adult. When you are a mom, some may feel its even harder. As an adult you don’t just walk up to someone like when you are a kid and say “do you want to be my friend.” My older daughter is just like me, a little social butterfly, & she has no problem doing this!
Over the years friendships change, that is just normal. People grow apart (physically and emotionally), people change in the direction of their lives, & that is a normal part of cycles in a friendship. It is a rare thing to be able to keep friendships for an entire lifetime going. I am lucky enough to have a friend (who shares my name) that I have known since she was born, over 30 years now! We used to have silly kiddy fights & even a few challenges as adults we worked our way through, but I am so lucky to have her in my life. My mom has a friend that she has been close with since she has been born also! So rare, but so awesome!
Now when I became a mother, none of my friends at the time lived in NJ. They were all in Brooklyn, or Staten Island for the most part. The way I met (almost all of my besties) was attending different mommy & me classes. We did 3-4 classes a week from the time my older daughter was 6 months old on. There I met my mom tribe. These amazing babes shared my struggles & we found immediate common ground to bond.
Through them I met other friends, & now I have this amazing mom tribe. My friends are AWESOME! They talk real talk, they pick me up when I am down, they cheer me on in anything I do. They are funny, beautiful, smart, & I am SO grateful for them. I have friends who are the tell it like it is, I have the ones that will stop at nothing to cheer you up. You know what else is awesome, they LOVE my kids! They treat my kids like gold.
Why do you need a mom tribe? Well, if you have friends & they aren’t parents yet, they will NEVER be able to understand some things you go through. It is just not possible. They can listen, they can cheer you up, but they haven’t gone through the trenches of motherhood yet. You ever get advice about being a parent from someone who isn’t a parent (unsolicited of course) & want to ROLL YOUR EYES AS LOUD AS YOU CAN! Your mom friends get it! They lost sleep too, they worry too, they get frustrated too, they go through all the ups & downs that you have.
So make some mom friends! You need them!
-Go to mommy & me classes (even weekend ones for working parents)
-Join some mommy online groups (Facebook has so many from local to national)
-Plan mom’s nights outs (we need a break too every now & then right?)
-See if any of your neighbors are moms too
You need your MOM tribe. As you get older you will hopefully cut out your toxic friends you may have around you. When you are younger you tolerate a lot more negativity than you do as you get older. Make sure your friends are real. Make sure they love you, love your kids, tell you the truth, listen to you, & support you! Why surround yourself with anything or anyone else? BE HAPPY with the people you are around!
Do you have a mom tribe?